Okay, I just took her hair out of the canerows she wore all week to school….
I decided to try to manage the two textures of my hair as it grew. I knew it would be difficult but damn! I found it really hard. I already did braid outs etc. with one texture but with two, I just felt like it didn’t work. I lasted about 10 months and then I cut off the relaxed ends. That was September 2015.
I then played around with crotchet braids. It took too many days out of my life – I am soooo impatient. My hair was so big, I spent days looking for Harry Potter and dabbling in wizardry – yes it took days for me to realise that I am but a mere muggle
After a couple of months of braids I played around with twist outs. There were a few times they looked good but other times…. My “go to” tends to be two canerows.
I am still working out the best hair regime and products. At the moment I use a dark and lovely kids moisturiser and olive oil rich moisturiser. I use castor and coconut oil on occasion and recently bought shea butter. I generally do not stick to any one product as it just depends on how I am styling my hair.
My hair has grown a lot in the 18 months since I last relaxed, but my hair has always grown quickly as long as it is moisturised and regularly trimmed. I cannot wait for it to reach the length that I am used to. I really like my new texture, although I still like straight hair. I have pressed my hair a couple of times but it is too much work – cannot be bothered (as revealed in one of those facial expressions above)!!
So it has been two years since I blogged about my hair. At that time I made a dumb mistake with my relaxer and was seriously annoyed with myself. I have relaxed my hair myself since I was a teenager. I am not keen on hairdressers and generally do everything to my hair myself. However, with relaxing I need to be in the right mood and having children around when you are using harsh chemicals is not ideal. I found myself rushing my relaxers just to get them done and I was not taking the care that I normally do. My hair was still healthy and manageable but I had different textures in places, which was annoying.
After the last rush relaxer I did in October 2014, I ended up ill because I did it late at night and stupidly slept on semi-damp hair! I decided not to do it anymore. I was fed up of waiting for a time that hubby was at home and no one would interrupt me and fed up of not being able to itch my scalp for a few days before. I hate rushing things and not doing them properly so no more relaxers!!
I had my hair coloured and cut at the beginning of December 2013. I decided to stretch my relaxer (leave it longer before relaxing) to avoid over processing.
My hair is also thinner from the years of chemicals. I have considered going natural but at the moment I do not have time to develop a new hair regime and manage growth. My only issue with the relaxer right now is thinner hair but otherwise my hair feels healthy and is easily manageable so if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
I went twelve weeks without relaxing. Did a lot of braid outs and Bantu knots which I absolutely love. When I air dried my hair in four donkey (big) plaits, I thought my hair looked natural and I rocked that look!
At twelve weeks I made the dumbest mistake and applied relaxer without mixing in the activator. I’ve been relaxing my own hair for over fifteen years and I’ve never made this mistake. I had to wait a further two weeks to relax again and during those two weeks I developed a horrid virus and didn’t look after my hair. It was awful.
Plus, I relaxed while I was still sick as I didn’t want to leave it any longer – scared of breakage from the two different textures. I’ve ended up not relaxing it properly and I’m still left with two different textures. It is still manageable but I’m scared of breakage and fighting an inward battle of whether to relax again in a few weeks or just as normal – arrhghh
Any advice would be welcome or simple finger pointing and calling me dumb will also be accepted lol
Afro hair is not easy to manage. Well maybe those are the wrong words, looking after Afro hair can be time consuming. It can not be pulled back into a ponytail and left. If I put the munchkin’s hair in a ponytail, two minutes later the hair band will have flown out and she would look like Don King’s love child.
My daughters have different hair textures. The munchkin’s hair is thick and of beautiful quality. She has typical Afro hair with tight curls that can not be left out. The munchkinita’s hair texture is much softer and the curls in her hair are slightly looser therefore her hair is easier to pull a comb through. I find her hair easier to manage although I love the quality of the munchkin’s hair.
To maintain their hair I wash it once to twice a month. I would wash it fortnightly but they’re of the age where washing their hair is like Hastings on 14 October 1066. I have to choose my battles so I wash their hair when I can.
I’m happy with the condition of their hair. I would do more with their hair if I had the time and didn’t have to fight with them. As they get older, I will teach them about their hair. I will teach them to maintain it themselves but I will also teach them that natural Afro hair is beautiful. I think my generation of black woman didn’t really have that message. We went through the curly perms and relaxers believing that those chemicals would “grow” our hair, as well as believing that extensions and weaves would magically “grow” our hair. The message we needed to receive was that our hair would grow if we kept it moist and trimmed and just looked after it.
My own hair is relaxed and for now I can not see me changing that as I have no problems with my hair, however, I want my girls to make an informed choice before they rush into chemically treating their hair. I want them to learn how to manage their hair and to love their natural curls.
It seems ages since my last blog, well since I published one! I tend to start a lot of drafts and then get caught up in something else.
Work has been very busy during the festive period. I have been stressing myself over work problems and the munchkins and making myself run down. This is something I have always been guilty of, but so much harder to deal with when you are responsible for two small ones and running two businesses.
I have recently had to rebuild the website for Tiffany Jades Lingerie after bugs and glitches with the company who supplied the site. This has cost me money and time, all at the wrong time of year. Dealing with everything had caused me to feel really down and I just wanted to slap myself around the face to pull myself out of it.
My daughter’s pediatrician advised me to take more time out for myself and actually relax. Relax? What is that? I really struggle to do that. I’m sure most mothers, workaholics, natural born worriers and perfectionists would agree (yes, I just described myself). However, I decided to make an even greater than normal effort to do as she said as my children need a relaxed mother and my husband needs a not so naggy, moaning wife.
Soooo, my drug of choice is music. I do not listen to it like I used to as I do not like being interrupted while I’m singing and feeling a tune or skanking to a beat. So now I have decided to listen through headphones when the kids are at nursery. I can not always do this as sometimes my work requires silence, but I am trying to do it once a week.
I have changed my work schedule so that I have a couple of hours of just me and munchkins time. We cuddle and play and then in the evening, I get back on the computer. This has been working for the last couple of weeks, PLUS, I have noticed a change in their behaviour! RESULT.
A few days ago, I had my hair did. Cut and colour. I did want to go blonder but I am happy with the result and will go blonder in a few months time. Thanks to Jamina Brown for doing my hair. She is an experienced, qualified, mobile hairdresser specialising in European and Afro hair. So if you are in London or the home counties area check her out on facebook here.
I treated myself to some new makeup (first time in years). When you look good, you feel good. I am not into a lot of makeup but I love eyeliner and lashes. I got a Revlon gel eyeliner which is amazing and a Seventeen liquid eyeliner pen which is good. I am trying a serum for lashes and brows to make them longer and thicker. This serum has had good reviews and was £11 which is cheap compared to others!
I tried applying individual eyelashes and let’s just say, Tim Burton would be interested in casting me in one of his dark films. I really should have taken a trip to Camden Town and knocked on his door ( I have no idea where in Camden Town he lives).
I am still hunting down a bright red lipstick, any suggestions?
I have taken a little time out to make a few Vine videos. I love the Vine app – it is hilarious. I have a lot of ideas, so I will be posting more soon (my username is tiffanyjade if you like foolish videos lol)!
I am much less stressed out after taking a little more time for myself and doing things that I enjoy rather than just the mundane things that I have to do everyday. I am still not getting out much but that will come with the time. I
hope I can will keep this up!
What do you do to relax? What de-stresses you?