How is your hair so long?

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Many people ask me how my hair is so long. Well I don’t actually think my hair is that long but I guess that is because for me it did not just grow overnight.

I remember being 17 and cutting my hair short. I cut my hair like my one of my singing idols, Monica, because I thought I was Miss Thang. But then came that awkward growing it out stage. arrrgghhh! It was awful. Where I had shaved my head at the back looked like it was sponsored by Allied Carpets. My head looked like worse girl mendoza*. At this point I was determined to have at least shoulder length hair!

HOWEVER, I have always had my hand in my hair with something new and wonderful. I will bullet point my exploits:

  • Permanent hair dyes that made my hair break but I still went back and dyed it again and again and again.
  • Cutting fringes that looked like they were bitten, not cut.
  • Rainbow Brite extensions reminiscent of some My Little Pony tails. I thought brown, blonde and red was a good look, if I added green I could have directed traffic.
  • Using oven tongs and burning out sections of my hair. Have you smelt burning hair? Do you know what it sounds like? Can you spell traumatic?
  • Bonding – lord have mercy, I still have bonding glue on some of my clothes and I have not used bonding for nearly ten years!
  • Weave – my first weave looked like Oprah in the late 80’s and it was like 2007. Subsequent weaves (about 2 or 3) were good!
  • Lace front wig – wore it for a week maybe, then played netball and got home to see the lace had peeled off my skin. How does Beyonce perform in those things??

I have had many more hair exploits but those are the first that come to mind.

After all of the foolishness I have put my hair through over the years I went to a really good hairdresser in South London. She cut about 5 inches off my hair but told me those ends were dead and of no use to me anyway. I was vex but I knew she was right. I went back to her every time I needed a relaxer and she would trim my hair also. My hair just grew and grew and grew and then it finally dawned on me. I actually need to trim my hair to make it grow. Forget all of that rubbish said growing up – “black peoples hair don’t grow”. It “don’t grow” because we believe that rubbish and are too scared to trim our hair when needed. I decided I would trim my hair regularly and look after it properly.

I could not keep travelling to South London to see that hairdresser so started taking care of my hair at home. I will write again with my hair routine/ritual.

*my definition of mendoza is the extreme of any phrase it follows, it’s a Tiffanyism
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